This week's counselling session began with reviewing my questionnaire. I have seen significant improvement since my return to work in all areas of the questionnaire; anxiety, depression, avoidance and impact on life. This is very good to see as each week we look back at my previous scores and the progress that I have been making.
We then looked at my activity diary I tried (and failed) to do. The idea was to plan activities in my spare time to do to ensure that I'm allowing myself to enjoy my free time. Unfortunately this week I didn't really have very much free time so didn't manage to plan anything. However, I did naturally do things that improved my mood including watching movies, spending time with my family and spending time with my partner. I have decided that I find it more beneficial to plan the every day things I need to be doing such as; making my bed, doing my washing, eating breakfast etc. which generally leaves me feeling more positive and motivated to use my time productively.
We then looked at my thought diary and the moments where I experienced anxiety. One thing I think I feel is quite prominent for me, and has always been, is separation anxiety. After an in depth chat about my childhood and the things that went on, my counsellor believes I've developed an anxiety based on leaving home where I feel I should be taking care of others. This does make a lot of sense to me after talking through some things.
She then asked me what it is I felt with this anxiety, and generally it is the fact that I am not safe. So - I have been given a sheet titled 'Positive Data Log'.
'Collect evidence, however small or apparently insignificant, that supports that Alternative Core Belief. Write down that evidence on the form below, as soon as possible after you notice the evidence - otherwise you might forget, minimise or discount the evidence. You might start by collecting one piece of evidence each day, and gradually increase to 2, 3 or 5 pieces of evidence each day to support the new healthy core belief.'
My core belief is; I can be safe and independent.
So for the next two weeks (until my next session) I will be writing down evidence to support this statement. Hopefully this will be positive for me & my confidence, allowing me to believe that I can be the person that I want to be.