*Spoiler alert* ..not lucky.
So, I'm three sessions into my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, with 2 sessions left. And sadly again, I'm not getting any benefit from it whatsoever. I'm finding myself humouring my therapist because I'd feel bad saying that it's not helping. I know she's trying her best.
The trouble is, I've been through most of these techniques myself and all they really do is cover up the problem not solve it. Like spraying perfume over dog shit and hoping it doesn't smell anymore. (Bad example soz.) But really CBT is just a temporary resolution to a problem that will keep coming back. Yet the NHS don't seem to have identified this and throw CBT at anybody who suffers with their mental health - one size does NOT fit all.
I've had the hand outs, I've done the homework - I've done it all before. I told my assessor that I don't find it helpful yet they wanted me to try it just one more time. More likely, they couldn't offer me anything else. And when did it become 5 sessions and not 6? Is it just going to get shorter and shorter or what?
For my last two sessions I've been given a piece of paper to write down a situation that is going to happen and what I'm worrying or anxiety about in the hope I prove my worries wrong, etc etc. (For example, me feeling anxious about a gym class and that I'll mess up my counting and everyone will laugh at me.) It's just laughable like, I get a 30 minute slot with no real talk time. I do the questionnaire, she asks me how I am and then passes me another piece of paper and sends me on my way. I want to be able to sit and talk through everything I'm feeling with somebody that understands and can really help me. I could give myself CBT tbh.
I'm just getting so frustrated with the lack of care for those suffering. I'm very lucky that I have such a good support system around but for those who don't, I dread to think how tough it is for them.