I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the miracle cure doesn’t exist. I wish it did, but it just doesn’t. And, the sooner you realise this, the sooner your recovery will begin.
The problem with Mental Illnesses and Disorders is that they’re largely and collectively still a grey area. See, we can’t just open up the skull and point at a part of the brain and say ‘yep, just tweak that one a little’ and ‘oh, just rewire that somewhere else!’ Believe me, I wish we could.
So, we must experiment with the techniques, medications, therapies, self-care routines etc. that are out there to find what best suits and helps us. We’re all different and not everything works for everybody. And a spoiler with a lot of these: You have to want to help yourself.
Don’t get me wrong, I hate it when people say that just ‘being positive’ will solve your deepest and darkest mental issues, because they see you’ve perked up today. What they don’t realise is as soon as you’re alone or in comfort, the mask falls right off and the base of your emotions and thoughts is still there. Ah yes, hello negativity, it’s been a few hours.
I saw a psychiatrist a little while back and he said to me that you need to practice the self-help techniques on your good days too.
There’s no use waiting until you’re hiding under your duvet to say ‘Let’s start some CBT!’. And it’s true, you’re lucky if you find me out of bed that day. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so in theory practicing a self-help ritual for three weeks will help form a routine. Which is definitely a lot easier than it sounds, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything solidly for 21 days. But, I think it’s definitely worth a try.
So, my point here is just to stop looking for the miracle cure. First, start looking for those little sparks of happiness that you find in each day. Whether it’s putting your make up on, going out for a walk, reading another chapter of a good book – whatever it is, keep doing it! Self care in my opinion, is anything that makes you authentically happy. So I urge you to think about what things make you feel this way!
Write them down, schedule them into your daily life, ask yourself why they make you feel good and find similar things you can do! Here are some of the things I practice for self-care:
And secondly, trust that your counselling or therapies provide some form of help and to utilise those as well as you can. Some things may seem like they’re never going to help you, but give them a chance and allow yourself to explore the help you’ve been offered.
Take your time, keep your mind open and look for positivity in your every day life. You don’t have to be ‘better’ next week, next month or even next year. You just need to believe tomorrow will be a better day. You can do this!